For some reason, blogging has been giving me a big headache. Hence why I have avoided it since February… It always seems like I can compose the perfect, well-worded blog posts while laying in bed falling asleep. And do I ever think to grab my phone and write it down? Of course not. That’s too easy. I figure that I can write it down the next morning, but when I try, I end up staring at a blank page. Today, I felt like it was finally time to put my thoughts down and work with what I had.
The last few months have been harder than I expected. When I received my acceptance call for The World Race in January, I thought I would be on cloud nine for a while. It lasted about a week. I woke up on a Monday morning feeling anxious and fearful about what I had committed to. I had doubts about being good enough, outgoing enough, or even good enough at writing to compose a blog worth reading. Seriously, I had anxiety over blogging.
It didn’t take me long to realize that it was the devil whispering in my ear, reminding me of all my shortcomings. Thank goodness God had already been working in my heart to help me fight against that fear and anxiety. I had just found the song Not Today by Hillsong and it had been playing on repeat while I was working. The lyrics to that song were more applicable on that Monday than before. The whole song is powerful, but the chorus is what kept playing through my mind:
I’ll sing the night into the morning
I’ll sing the fear into Your praise
I’ll sing my soul into Your presence
Whenever I say Your Name
Let the devil know not today
The Lord brought peace to my heart and mind with the reminders in this song. There is power in the name of Jesus to cast out fear and let the devil know that the Lord has victory in my life. I didn’t expect the time leading up to the World Race to be easy, but I wasn’t completely prepared for how many ups and downs I have had. It is hard for me to talk about my spiritual struggles when I want to be filled with excitement and joy as the race gets closer. I prefer to bury them and pretend like they aren’t there. But I know that God is working in my life in bigger ways now than ever before. Little did I know that this “Yes” from me would throw my life into such a wonderful, yet challenging, new phase. And I haven’t even left Florida yet!
God has used this song as an encouragement for me. He has surrounded me with amazing family, friends, and coworkers who have been pouring into me and reminding me to keep my eyes focused on Him. The more I grow in my relationship with Christ, the more I see how the struggles can bring me closer to Him. He never said it would be easy, but I am seeing how it is worth it.
Please be praying for me and my team. These next few months before we launch will be filled with highs and lows. Pray specifically for us to seek the Lord and lean on Him, for Satan to stay far away and for his efforts against us to fail, and for those we will be ministering to in each country.
When trials and temptations come your way, remember, “Let the devil know not today.”
