Culture Shock Over Dinner

Turkey has quickly become one of my favorite countries! It’s a beautiful place where Europe and Asia collide, bringing rich culture and history. It is home to the seven churches mentioned in Revelation, the ruins of many historical cities including Antioch, and where many biblical accounts become reality. It’s crazy to walk through Ephesus on the same streets that Paul once walked on. Or to see ancient olive trees that have probably been around since that time in history. 

Another cool, yet difficult, part of the Turkish culture is the history between the Turkish and Kurdish people. If you aren’t familiar with the Kurdish people I highly suggest doing some research. They are a people group that doesn’t have their own country so they are left to live in other countries while trying to preserve their own culture. Many live here in Turkey, and relations between them and the Turkish people haven’t always been good. 

My team met a few Kurdish people during our short time in Istanbul, and our host is very good friends with a local Kurdish family. She mentioned us visiting them and said they had invited us to have dinner with them!

On the drive out to their farm, my host told us a little about the family. The family has six children, a few of whom still live on the family property along with their spouses and children. They normally begin their day around 3 or 4 am by taking their animals to the nearby mountains to graze. Sometimes they work in their gardens or take their produce to the many open markets around, so they work long hours. Then they come home, cook an early dinner before going to bed before the sun fully sets. (The days are long right now with the sun setting around 8:30)

We showed up for dinner around 6:30, since I was finishing up a meeting, and my host informed me we were late and that they normally eat so much earlier. At that moment I realized I probably should have asked for more information about the family before arriving at their house. There was a slight twinge in my stomach at the thought of keeping them up late or making them wait for us. 

My team was greeted by a few kids running around outside near the farm animals in the yard. There were some cute cows, a herd of sheep, and lots of roaming chickens.

Then a man came to greet us with a big smile! He took us into his home where we sat on a floor covered in rugs and fabric. We reclined on some pillows while the ladies of the family brought in dinner. 

We ate together sitting in a circle on the floor, with all of the food (fresh directly from their farm) spread out in front of us. There was chicken with rice, mushrooms, their special kind of homemade bread, cream, and fresh fruit for dessert. After dinner we talked over a cup of Turkish tea, of course. (I haven’t drank much coffee this month since I’ve been drinking tea every day!)

At one point a teammate had their phone out to take pictures of the meal, but our host quickly told us that it’s not respectful to take pictures since that room doubles as the family’s bedroom. It would be an invasion of their privacy.

We also asked questions about their cows and farm animals and were later told that normally isn’t respectful either since it’s basically like asking someone what their salary is. Or we asked one of the ladies, who was 8 months pregnant, what she was going to name the baby and we were told that wasn’t something to discuss in front of the men of the house. 

Each of those times, I felt awkward and a bit uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to act or what was safe to talk about. I’ve felt little bits of culture shock, usually in the form of not knowing the language, but this was the first time I felt like I truly didn’t know what was appropriate and what was not. Yet it was one of my favorite things we did. I got to eat an authentic meal with a local family, which is something I try to do in every country, and it was an eye opening experience into how a family from a different culture operates. They love each other deeply, saying family is the most important part of life. We were welcomed in, served so well, and were shown a tiny slice of what their daily life looks like. I wish I knew more of the language so I could sit and soak up their stories and hear what life is like on the farm. 

Culture shock is a very real part of the race. I came expecting to struggle with new languages, strange food, different ways of dressing, and other big things like that. I didn’t even think about the smaller cultural differences like I experienced with the Kurdish family. It can be hard to navigate, so next time I want to understand or know more before I go into someone’s home. Most people are gracious, knowing that we are from a different culture so they don’t expect us to get it right the first time. But I want to honor the families I meet. 

At the end of the night we all walked away feeling blessed and loved by each other. It was a beautiful evening of fellowship across language and cultural barriers. They are a wonderful family that I hope to come back to visit again in the future. 

Please keep this family in your prayers. The head of the family has found the truth, but the rest of his family has not yet. He has hope that they will, but it can be lonely to walk that road alone. Pray for him to remain faithful and obedient, and for the hearts and eyes of his family to be open.