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I’m coming home.

Early yesterday morning I woke up to an email saying all squads are being sent back to the US as soon as possible. I instantly felt numb. This was not what was supposed to happen. I signed up for 11 months on the field and we are only in our third country. This doesn’t make any sense. 

My days have been filled with a flurry of emotions. I don’t even know how to begin processing what’s happening when we don’t know details yet. I’m heartbroken, confused, and disappointed. I have grown so close with my team and squad, and I’m not ready to go home. 

Yet, in the midst of the chaos, I am eager to see what God has in store. There’s obviously a reason he wants all of us on-fire Racers to flood back into the States. He called us to go, and he is sending us where we are needed for the kingdom. 

One of my teammates said something that stuck with me. When God called us to leave everything we knew behind and go into the nation’s we said yes. We stepped out in faith knowing God would take care of us. That was a big step for all of us, but now God is calling us to have even greater faith in him as he calls us home for now. I have no answers. I have no plans. I don’t even know what tomorrow holds. But I know who holds tomorrow. I know who holds the future, and all of us, in his hands. There is still a big YES in my spirit and I know my Race isn’t finished yet. It may just look different than I expected. And there’s a possibility that my squad may be able to relaunch at a later time. 

So bring it on, Lord. I’ll go wherever you send me. I’ll trust in you because you are all I have, my only constant. And I’ll bring your love and light to those I meet along the way. I don’t understand, but you do. To you be the glory. 

3 responses to “In the Midst of Chaos, He is in Control”

  1. God is going to use you and your squad in unexpected ways. I believe this pandemic is an opportunity for the Church to rise up and meets people’s needs and glorify God through our actions. Your willingness to say yes to opening a door for God to use you in a new way.

  2. I knew from the first day we met that God had His hand on you, preparing you for a great mission. Whether that mission is overseas or here at home, he is still guiding your path and will continue to open doors of opportunity to share His message. Trust in Him!

  3. So sorry for your disappointment but admire your call to go where God leads. Americans are scared and need hope. Many are dying and need a Savior. It is a different America than the one you left and the doors are open to ministry because we are realizing our vulnerability and need peace. You serve the Prince of Peace and have a message in great need. Welcome back, Alayna! Your adventure is not over at all.